I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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