And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
