I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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