if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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