i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
