giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
