The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
