Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
honey bunches of taint.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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