my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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