new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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