are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
