cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
