I'm eating all of the evidence.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
