need another drink. this is the easiest way
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Randomize
