My cat gives me a boner
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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