Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
