he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
