your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
