what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You need a sexual gate keeper
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
