Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
