these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
