are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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