booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
