Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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