Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
