He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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