It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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