you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
