we're chasing vodka with high fives
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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