Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
