You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
