i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
