Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
