At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize