Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
