So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
