We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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