he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
