Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
