69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
