we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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