whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
