So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
