love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
