WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We are two peas in an std pod
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
