just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Blow job season was short but glorious.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
