I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
