so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
