Pants 0. Shit 1.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize