toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
