do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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