if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am available for nakedness
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize