I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
