he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
