I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
