I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
