So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
