You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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