drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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