you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
