I'm really into asian looking animals
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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